Ramen Street Festival: Are you shoyu want to wait?

Dude, I get it. I love a warm bowl of spicy miso ramen as much as anybody else. But to stand in line for 4+ hours? I don’t think so. 

Unless you camped out at 9:30 am, you’re better off enjoying the concurrent J-Pop summit happening around the Japan Center. You can watch contests and musical acts onstage beneath the pagoda, try your luck at the food trucks on the opposite end, or, like me, peruse the local street vendors along Webster. (I ended up finding a tank with a killer design from the creative minds at 57-thirtythree. I can’t wait to check out their art gallery in Oakland.) 

image

Ridin’ dirty with my new girl. Zero wait. 

Still craving a bowl? Ken Ken Ramen, Ramen Underground and Izakaya Sozai all open their doors around 5:30 pm. 

If my makeup could talk…

image

Face: Clinique “Even Better” Liquid Foundation in Sand 

"I can’t believe she found me on her own. It took her over an hour of staring the shelves, going back and forth between the display and the mirror, and looking around for help but not wanting to ask for any because she knows that she should know this by now - but she did it."

image

Eyes: Urban Decay 24/7 Glide On Waterproof Eye Pencil in Perversion 

"Somebody help this girl, please. She’s been doing the same black cat eye routine since college… maybe high school. She went from eye pencil to liquid eyeliner to waterproof liquid eyeliner to me, waterproof eye pencil. Can somebody teach her how to smudge a b*tch without looking like Mike Tyson? (Not the black eye, the face tattoo.) And tell her to actually use the eyeshadow in her Urban Decay Naked palette, not just the primer? Ugh, I swear, I was meant for *soooooo* much more than this.”

image

Lashes: L’Oréal “Voluminous Million Lashes” Waterproof Mascara  

"Eh, can’t complain. Now, falsies - don’t even go there."

image

Brows: Smashbox “Brow Tech To Go” in Brunette

"Even though she has thick eyebrows, I don’t think she fully grasps how to shape them. I saw her try to do the business card trick once and it did not end well. It was only two weeks ago that she realized that my other end has a gel wand. *facepalm*"

image

Contour: Kat Von D “Everlasting Face Shaper” Bronzer in Shady Business II 

"Thank God she started watching all those makeup tutorials on YouTube. Girlfriend finally learned where her cheekbones are. Don’t worry, she highlights me with liquid illuminatorWe owe you one, Michelle Phan.”

image

Lips: Tarte “Lipsurgence” Matte Lip Tint in Envy

"She has no f***king clue how to use lipstick. I’m a step up from tinted chapstick. Also, she has dry lips." 

I joined a gym and started working out - like really, working out.

For years, I thought of the gym as a place to be introverted about working out. I would plug in my headphones, run jog on the treadmill, use sit on a few machines and stretch out flip through my music playlist on the mat. If you’re serious about your fitness, you should focus on nothing else, right?

Though I still consider the gym as a place to work on yourself, I realized that you can be social. There are two types of people at the gym: 1) gym rats that actually know something about fitness and can teach you new exercises to add to your personal regime, and 2) actual rats with little to no body definition that stare at you from the weight room. (Do yourself a favor and put down the protein shake. You’re not fooling anyone.) In an effort to get “Vegas ready” by May, I started participating in group classes. Cardio kickboxing, step sculpt, cycling, mat pilates, yoga, boot camp conditioning - everything and anything to challenge and entertain my body. The physical changes came with consistency, and the consistency, I realized, came from wanting to be there with, for and learn from my fellow regulars each week. Yes, working out is lifting weights, swimming laps and running circuits - but really, it’s exercising the right state of mind.

image

Marky Mark and The Rock are here for you.

Other things I do to stay motivated:

  • Make the home screen on my phone a motivating picture of myself. This isn’t vanity, it’s rationality. Why would I want to be anybody else?
  • Get naked. Love your body as it is. 
  • Hang out with my friends. We do active things like morning hikes, twerk the night away at a club, or window shop around the entire Great Mall. That’s a mile of retail therapy. 
  • Look forward to pooping. There is nothing more relaxing or satisfying in life than the moment after you take a huge dump.

I think the reason that Filipino restaurants are scarce to none, aside from Max’s and fast food joints like Jollibee and Goldilocks, is because the best Filipino food is made at home in the kitchen. Why go anywhere else for lumpia and pancit when you are guaranteed plenty of baon at the next house party?

Patio Filipino represents the beginning of a movement that is elevating Filipino food into a composed, restaurant setting without compromising any of the traditional ingredients, familiar presentations and comforting flavors that remind us of any tita's cooking. (Don't expect to see any chafing dishes here.) From the Red Horse and San Mig beer to who was surely somebody's tito boy playing on an electric Casio in the corner, I can’t speak enough about how much I loved this place. We ordered the fish pinakbet, beef steak, lechon kawali and, the crowd favorite, sizzling bangus sisig. (I could eat that milkfish everyday with a side of patis and steamed rice.) I was so happy that they offered a variety of seafood and vegetarian options. There are far too many family gatherings where I find myself nursing pan de sal dinner rolls and brightly colored puto into a meal.

Unfortunately, we ended up being too full to try dessert - but rest assured, I will be back for that halo-halo in a young coconut or the turon a la mode. (Filipino desserts are kind of my specialty.) Maraming salamat!

A Logical Deduction of Love: Sherlock’s Best Man Speech
"John Watson. My friend, John Watson. John. When John first broached the subject of being best man, I was confused. I confess at first I didn’t realize he was asking me. When finally I understood, I expressed to him that I was both flattered and surprised. I explained to him that I never expected this request and I was a little daunted in the face of it. I know that it’s promised that I would do my very best to accomplish a task that was, for me, as demanding and difficult as any I’d ever contemplated. Additionally, I thanked him for the trust he placed in me and indicated that I was, in some ways, very close to being moved by it. 
"It later transpired that I said none of this out loud. 
"I’m afraid, John, I can’t congratulate you. All emotions, in particular love, stand opposed to the pure cold reason I hold above all things. A wedding is, in my considered opinion, nothing short of a celebration of all that is false and specious and irrational and sentimental in this ailing and morally compromised world. Today we honor the death watch beetle that is the doom of our society and in time, one feels certain, our entire species. 
"But anyway, let’s talk about John. If I burden myself with a little help mate during my adventures, this is not out of sentiment or caprice. It is that he has many fine qualities of his own that he has overlooked in his obsession with me. Indeed, any reputation I have for mental acuity and sharpness comes, in truth, from the extraordinary contrast John so selflessly provides. It is a fact, I believe, that brides tend to favor exceptionally plain bridesmaids for their big day. There is a certain analogy there, I feel, and contrast is, after all, God’s own plan to enhance the beauty of his creation. Or it would be, if God were not a ludicrous fantasy designed to provide a career opportunity for the family idiot. 
"The point I’m trying to make is that I am the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant, and all around obnoxious asshole that anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet. I am dismissive of the virtuous, unaware of the beautiful, and uncomprehending in the face of the happy. So if I didn’t understand I was being asked to be best man, it is because I never expected to be anybody’s best friend, and certainly not the best friend of the bravest and kindest and wisest human being I have ever had the good fortune of knowing. John, I am a ridiculous man, redeemed only by the warmth and constancy of your friendship. But as I am apparently your best friend, I can not congratulate you on your choice of companion. Actually, now I can. Mary, when I say you deserve this man, it is the highest compliment of which I am capable. John, you have endured war, and injury, and tragic loss. So sorry again about that last one.
"So know this. Today, you sit between the woman you have made your wife and the man you have saved. In short, the two people who love you most in all this world. And I know I speak for Mary as well when I say we will never let you down, and we have a lifetime ahead to prove that. 
"Now on to some funny stories about John."

A Logical Deduction of Love: Sherlock’s Best Man Speech

"John Watson. My friend, John Watson. John. When John first broached the subject of being best man, I was confused. I confess at first I didn’t realize he was asking me. When finally I understood, I expressed to him that I was both flattered and surprised. I explained to him that I never expected this request and I was a little daunted in the face of it. I know that it’s promised that I would do my very best to accomplish a task that was, for me, as demanding and difficult as any I’d ever contemplated. Additionally, I thanked him for the trust he placed in me and indicated that I was, in some ways, very close to being moved by it.

"It later transpired that I said none of this out loud.

"I’m afraid, John, I can’t congratulate you. All emotions, in particular love, stand opposed to the pure cold reason I hold above all things. A wedding is, in my considered opinion, nothing short of a celebration of all that is false and specious and irrational and sentimental in this ailing and morally compromised world. Today we honor the death watch beetle that is the doom of our society and in time, one feels certain, our entire species.

"But anyway, let’s talk about John. If I burden myself with a little help mate during my adventures, this is not out of sentiment or caprice. It is that he has many fine qualities of his own that he has overlooked in his obsession with me. Indeed, any reputation I have for mental acuity and sharpness comes, in truth, from the extraordinary contrast John so selflessly provides. It is a fact, I believe, that brides tend to favor exceptionally plain bridesmaids for their big day. There is a certain analogy there, I feel, and contrast is, after all, God’s own plan to enhance the beauty of his creation. Or it would be, if God were not a ludicrous fantasy designed to provide a career opportunity for the family idiot.

"The point I’m trying to make is that I am the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant, and all around obnoxious asshole that anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet. I am dismissive of the virtuous, unaware of the beautiful, and uncomprehending in the face of the happy. So if I didn’t understand I was being asked to be best man, it is because I never expected to be anybody’s best friend, and certainly not the best friend of the bravest and kindest and wisest human being I have ever had the good fortune of knowing. John, I am a ridiculous man, redeemed only by the warmth and constancy of your friendship. But as I am apparently your best friend, I can not congratulate you on your choice of companion. Actually, now I can. Mary, when I say you deserve this man, it is the highest compliment of which I am capable. John, you have endured war, and injury, and tragic loss. So sorry again about that last one.

"So know this. Today, you sit between the woman you have made your wife and the man you have saved. In short, the two people who love you most in all this world. And I know I speak for Mary as well when I say we will never let you down, and we have a lifetime ahead to prove that.

"Now on to some funny stories about John."